Eban Read online

  She met Sylvie’s gaze again. “You know what? I’m not feeling very well. I think it might be best to dismiss class for the day.”

  Behind her glasses, Sylvie’s brown eyes were wide as the Pit. “Okay. You want me to fetch Eban? Your skin’s a funny gray color.”

  Beryl didn’t have any family that she knew of, but she loved Sylvie like a sister. The girl’s concern wiped away some of her lingering fear.

  “No, I’ll go right to the clinic. You go on home with TJ and don’t make Mrs. Yue worry about you, all right? Tell the others to go straight home too. I’m going to catch my breath.”

  Sylvie hesitated. “You sure? It won’t take me a minute to get him.”

  “It’s fine. Go on now.” She waved Sylvie away.

  Once the footsteps faded and she heard the other children chattering, Beryl leaned back in the chair again. She closed her eyes for one second and then…

  “Beryl. Wake up.”

  She peered through her eyelashes at Eban. He knelt next to her, his face inches away. His blue eyes were dark and his brow wrinkled with concern.

  “I fell asleep,” she said. “I sent the kids home early and—”

  She shivered, recalling the voice in her mind.

  He pressed the back of his hand against her forehead. “You should have come to the clinic.”

  “I didn’t plan to fall asleep. I’m fine now.”

  Eban put his hands on her shoulders. “Let’s go back to the clinic.”

  He helped her up, then hooked his arm around her waist. She didn’t feel lightheaded or ill. Confusion lingered over her, mingling with fear.

  “Am I crazy, Eban?”

  He looked at her, mouth turned down. “You’re not crazy. Did you sleep well last night?”

  She closed her eyes, trying to remember. “I don’t think so.”

  “That’s the trouble. You’re exhausted from worrying about keeping up with the classes and children.”

  He sounded certain. He held her close, allowing her to soak in his steady warmth, providing comfort that helped her heart slow.

  “I remembered something,” she whispered.

  “What?”

  How could she tell him? What if he hated her because of her past? True that he sometimes visited the saloon where the succubi bedded men for money, but that wasn’t the same.

  “A voice. It was a man’s voice, but I don’t know who he was.” Almost hoped she didn’t remember any more about him.

  “What did he say?”

  “Nothing…important. It was a quick flash and then I fell asleep.” It rattled her, even with Eban at her side.

  “Then it’s beginning to come back. That’s a start.” He gave her a thin smile. “I’m happy for you.”

  She didn’t believe that. Maybe because she couldn’t summon any enthusiasm for what she’d recalled.

  They walked back to the clinic in silence, although there were a few townsfolk conducting business or lingering on the boardwalk. They nodded or waved or shared greetings as Eban and Beryl passed by. Almost like it was a real town in any other part of the country. She didn’t mind that her neighbors were odd-looking or had unusual habits.

  She wasn’t the icon of normalcy herself.

  Eban got the door for her, ever the gentleman. “Do you want supper? You might feel better with something in your stomach.”

  “I just want to curl into one of those big chairs in your study. There’s nothing I’d like better.”

  “I’ll make tea. You’re shaken up, I can see it.” He followed her to the study and watched while she sank into a chair. “Can I get you a blanket or a pillow?”

  “I’ll be fine. It was strange, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. You’re right, because I didn’t sleep well. I’m sure it won’t happen again. Come sit with me for a while. Then we’ll eat.” She nodded at the chair next to hers.

  Eban sat with a soft groan. “I didn’t sleep much last night either. Tell relieved me at the Pit around one. I can barely get him away from there. If he’s not watching it, he’s not satisfied that we’re safe.”

  “Do you think we are?” She’d been out there once to look around and if she never had to go back, she didn’t feel she’d miss anything.

  “We’re still alive. It’s good enough for me.”

  He curled his hands and she knew he was fighting the urge to pick his cuticles.

  “You’re worried,” she accused.

  “I’m not.”

  “You are.”

  He swept his hand over his hair. “Is there a reason I shouldn’t be? Tell’s on the warpath, Wystan’s abandoned the town, the seals are breaking around the Pit, Seere’s got a plan he won’t share with the rest of us, and Astaroth is plotting horrible deaths for me and my brothers. No, I don’t think Berner is safe.”

  She slid off the chair cushion and kneeled in front of him. “Is there a safe place anywhere? Could you escape to a place where demons couldn’t get you?”

  He relaxed his hands. “I don’t know. I think they’re everywhere.”

  “Then no one is safe.” She placed her hand over his. “What Wys and Tell are fighting for doesn’t matter, does it?”

  He leaned forward, putting his free hand beneath her chin. “I don’t know the answer to that either. It seems hopeless, but I’ve been wrong before. Maybe Seere is right, all we need is true love to clear up this mess. He brought Rhia here for a reason.”

  She swallowed. “Do you think so?”

  Eban cupped her face. “He says he did, but I don’t believe that either. Things are more complicated than Seere is telling us.”

  “Maybe…” She straightened, stretching toward him. “Or not. Don’t you believe love can change the world?”

  He shifted, but didn’t release her. “My parents would say it could.”

  “Don’t give up. I know you want to. I know you think Rhia made a mistake, but you can’t give up on this town or on yourself. Running away will make everything worse.”

  His shoulders slumped. “You’re saying that because you’ve gotten used to living here with me. You’re uncertain about what will happen if I go. I promise you’ll be all right on your own. You have friends here. They’ll protect you if you need it.”

  “I thought you were my friend.”

  He smiled. “You know I am.”

  “Could we ever be anything more?” She hated asking, sure it was too soon. He was still so broken over Rhia, maybe he’d never recover. She was seven kinds of foolish for asking.

  “Beryl.”

  She met his gaze. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “If I were to fall in love with another human, I’d hope she’d be like you. I’m afraid it’s not in the cards now. Maybe never.” He lowered his eyes. “You’ll find someone. Someone worthy of you. I might doubt everything else, but I know that.”

  “What if my past won’t let that happen? What if I did something that made me unworthy?” Glad he’d looked away, she didn’t have to watch the realization dawn on his face. “The voice I remembered wasn’t anyone who loved me.”

  “Then who?” His shoulders were tense, his expression a little fierce.

  “A man who owned a brothel.” She kept her gaze lowered. “I’m not as good as you think.”

  “That’s nonsense. You’re kind and thoughtful. Maybe what you thought you heard was part of a dream.” He moved closer. “I don’t believe you’re capable of doing bad things. Making bad choices is part of being human. Or demon, but you’re a good person.”

  “It wasn’t a dream,” she whispered. “It was a memory. Someone hated me enough to try and kill me.”

  “There’s nothing about you to hate.” His hands tightened on her shoulders. “Whatever happened is over.”

  She worried it might be a situati
on like Rhia faced with Noem, but she had the feeling no one was looking for her. This was a chance to begin again, to be someone else. The one person she wanted to share it with had his own difficulties.

  “You’re right.” Though the threatening words lingered. “Who would come looking for me here?” Who would look for her anyway?

  “If someone who loves you is out there, they’ll find you.”

  He sounded sincere and she almost believed him, except she’d be stupid to fool herself. Warmth darkened his eyes and they crinkled at the corners. Tension stretched between them.

  “If you remembered a voice like the one I heard, you wouldn’t think so.”

  Eban didn’t answer. He pulled his hand away from hers and stroked her hair. She rested her cheek against his knee. He smelled of leather, shoe polish and mint. Homey scents that she’d come to love in the past few weeks. He was close in body, but so far away in spirit that Beryl’s heart ached. She wanted to curl on his lap and let the sounds of his heartbeat and breath carry her worries away.

  Without Eban, she had no one. Stifling the urge to cry, Beryl rose.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I just hate losing a good friend. I’m going to fix supper now.”

  Cooking would keep her mind off trouble and Eban had it written all over him. Her skin prickled—a cross between annoyance and anticipation.

  He nodded. “I’m not hungry. I have some research I’d like to do.”

  She hesitated near the door. Frustration made her shake. Why couldn’t he understand there was nothing she wanted more than him? She had no one else to depend on and if he’d listen to reason, he’d realize they were meant to be together.

  Tell him how you feel, a sharp voice whispered. Better the demon you see than the ones you don’t.

  Beryl moistened her lips with her tongue. “Eban?”

  “Yes?”

  “You’ll find love. When you do, you won’t remember how badly you hurt now. It’ll hit you right in the face, plain and obvious. I hope you’ll grab it before it flees.”

  He offered a sad smile. “Picking up on Tell’s fortunetelling tricks?”

  “Love changes things.” She wasn’t sure why it popped out, or why she felt so strongly about it, only that Eban needed to know. Worse, she wanted to show him, claim him, knock it into his head that they should be together. Beryl balled her hands into fists, fighting to remain where she stood. “Trust me. It’s time to heal.”

  He sat still for a moment, his expression distant. When he stood, he moved so fast, Beryl had a hard time following him. Demon blood gave him grace and speed she couldn’t comprehend. One moment he was in the chair, the next she had her back against the wall and Eban was pressed against her. His hair was mussed, his forearms tense on either side of her head as he leaned on the wall.

  “You want to see if anything changes?” His voice was low and husky. “You’re a dog with a bone, Beryl, and you’re not giving up until you find out.”

  She stared at him, surprised by his actions. Was it a test? Did he expect her to shrink away in fear? Whether he guessed it or not, she had more starch than that. Lifting her hands, she put one on either side of his face. He didn’t look angry. A challenging sparkle lit his eyes, along with the faintest hint of red in his irises. Nothing Eban did frightened her. He was her hero, her knight with a saber. The tremor in her hands wasn’t fear.

  “Yes, I want to know.”

  The words were barely past her lips when his mouth claimed her. He nipped her lower lip, pulling them apart, sliding his tongue between her teeth. A startled jolt raced through her. Beryl flattened her breasts against him, tracing her fingers over his ears, holding him close. Her body warmed, legs going soft as melted wax, but her core burned for him.

  One of his hands cupped her breast, teasing over her dress and corset, squeezing gently. This kiss was what she’d imagined—hoped for—when she pictured herself in Eban’s arms. His erection pressed against her stomach, undeniable evidence that he wanted her.

  She dropped her hand, sliding it between them, and rubbed the front of his pants. A soft groan left his throat. The sound was enough to make her damp and ready to bed him.

  “We can take this to my room.”

  He drew in a ragged breath. “I want to, but this isn’t right. We shouldn’t—I’m not myself.”

  She paused. “Then who are you? I’ve ached for your touch, thought about you like this.”

  “You could regret this. If not in the morning, then at a later time. And I’m not even a man. You forget too easily that I’m a monster.” His expression was full of regret which wiped out any traces of the passion he’d almost given in to.

  She dropped her hands to her sides. The kiss she’d been so certain would change everything wasn’t effective. Eban wasn’t ready to move past Rhia and it was selfish and cruel of her to make him try.

  “You’re right.” She touched her lips. “I suppose my idea about kissing didn’t apply to love. Good luck on your research.”

  Before he could say anything else, she fled. She couldn’t bear the idea of facing him again this evening. She’d thrown herself at him, almost gotten the response she wanted, but in the end, she’d been rejected. Perhaps she was trying to wedge herself into a life where she didn’t belong.

  Chapter Six

  Eban avoided Beryl because he shouldn’t have allowed anything to happen between them. He’d always held a tight rein on his demon side, seldom allowing it to come close to the surface, but when Beryl spoke of love it triggered something in him, something hungry. Rosemar possessed the ability to spark lust, so he blamed it on her, whether Beryl was aware of it or not.

  He focused solely on preparing to invoke an angel, locking the door to his study, something he’d never done from the day he moved into the building.

  By the end of the week, he figured he was as ready as he’d ever be. His plans also coincided with Wystan and Rhia’s return. He hoped to get the chore done before they arrived home Saturday morning with no one the wiser.

  Tell rode out to the Pit on Friday evening, leaving Eban to guard the town. Beryl had come home from teaching in the afternoon, shut her door and hadn’t made a sound since. He meant to go through with this and it had to be tonight. Eban sorted through his shelves in the kitchen and came up with a canister of black pepper for binding in case he summoned the wrong entity, a bottle of olive oil he couldn’t recall purchasing, six white candles, and what was left of the cinnamon he’d used to call Seere.

  He spread cinnamon across his bedroom floor, then carefully drew sigils from his memory, placing a candle at six points. Around those, he made a circle with the olive oil, another around that with the pepper. One by one, he lit the candles, then stepped back.

  The drawings on his floor lacked the power of words to stir them, unlike when he called Seere. The prince knew his call and came if he didn’t have anything more pressing. What angels were listening for the summons of a half demon? Probably none.

  He lowered himself to his knees and bowed his head, but he felt foolish when he folded his hands, so he let them hang by his sides.

  “Oh Mighty God, theos patir herminas, by the archangels whose names are so consecrated, they cannot be uttered. I beseech thee to illuminate my conscience with your brilliant light. Adorn my soul that I may hear and understand. Take away my sins, purify my soul, wash away my wickedness and offenses, by the virtue of the holy angels.”

  It wasn’t enough to say it—he knew he had to mean it. Guilt for breaking his promise to Tell almost made him stop, but what he was asking was greater than a white lie.

  “Impart unto me, oh Lord, the wisdom of your angels. Bring forth a spirit who might bestow your blessings.”

  Eban opened his eyes the same moment the candles flickered, the flames elongating. A flash like lightning
blinded him. His hand shot toward the saber on the bed, while he silently prayed the pepper ring would hold. When he blinked the spots away, a man in white robes who looked remarkably like Seere hovered above the sigils. His blond hair rippled in a breeze Eban couldn’t feel. His eyes were light silver, his mouth a firm line that didn’t betray any emotion.

  “You seek help, Ebaneezer.”

  The voice came from nowhere, filling Eban’s head, but it wasn’t intrusive. Like Seere, this manifestation sounded bored. He didn’t question how the angel knew his name. He had a feeling plenty of creatures knew the Heckmasters’ reputations.

  “Yes, for a friend. I’m out of ideas on how to banish a demon. It barely flinches at holy water, it recognizes its name, but no banishment spell releases the body it occupies. I brought out a Bible and it amused itself by reading passages out loud for an entire afternoon. Short of decapitation, there’s nothing left for me to try. I won’t let it kill the human host.”

  The angel blinked and his right hand swept to the hilt of a broadsword sheath fastened around his waist. The sigils beneath him glowed with bluish light.

  “Is it not kinder to release the soul from this torment? If all is well, it will join the Father at the gates. The demon will rattle in the bonds of Hell once more.”

  Eban gritted his teeth. He stood, though his head barely reached the angel’s chest. “You’re new here, so let me tell you about Berner. It’s filled with demons. I’m a half demon. None of us want to explore the bonds of Hell. We’ve been tasked with making sure more of the bad ones don’t spill out and take over the world. The woman who’s possessed doesn’t want to meet the Father at any gates. She wants to live. I don’t care what it takes—I aim to see that she does. I think I’m owed a little something for services rendered.”

  The angel’s features hardened. “You presume much. The fact that you stand before me with demon blood coursing through your veins and not spilled across this floor is a favor. I am not required to fulfill the wishes of any man.”